How many times of starting over or restarting is too many? I wonder.
I suppose that the correct answer here is that it's never too many, that we should continue to pursue and persist as long as we are still breathing. We have been taught that the successful people are those who keep getting back up after a fall.
The challenge here is more about vanity than lack of perseverance. When we fail, particularly when we fail publicly, it can be difficult to persist due to the humiliation rather than the failure itself.
What will people think?
As Eleanor Roosevlet said, "What other people think of you is really none of your business."
While I may agree with that sentiment, caring about what other people think of me has consumed a great deal of my mental energy over the years.
Why do we believe that as adults we should have all the answers? That we should never fail? That failure at one thing makes us a failure ?
Do we really believe that at some point in our journey we will have arrived and no longer believe we have something new to learn?
All of this fear and anxiety is crippling our spirits and exhausting our minds and bodies.
These beliefs, and the thousands of other lies told by our broken thought pattenrs, actually stem from a lack of humilty rather than a low self- esteem. I remember when the phrase self-esteem first became a buzz word. (It was before the term buzz word became a buzz word!) In the 70's and 80's, parents and teachers, psychologists and phychiatrists began saying that what our hurting world really needed was higher self-esteem. What children were lacking was a stronger sense of self. This lie has destroyed society.
There was a television show in the 1970's called The Electric Company. The opening song had a lyric that sang, "the most important person in the whole wide world is YOU!" This began the indoctrination of children which has led to the entitlement mentality that is often bewailed in young adults. When each person believes they are the most important person in the world, chaos ensues.
I argue that what people need is less self importance, not more.
Humility is not a warm and fuzzy feeling, nor is it something that most people enjoy pursuing; however, we are told that the meek inherit the earth and that the last shall be first. Humility may not feel great at first, but the freedom it provides and the graces it invites transforms lives into something beautiful.
Fail.
Be corrected.
Be chastised.
Be gracious.
Be generous.
Offer forgiveness.
Be quick to apologize.
Smile more.
Be offended less.
Living with humility actually decreases our stress levels because we are no longer attempting to convey the lie that we are perfect, that we don't fail, that we have all the answers. This is a difficult lesson, and certainly one that the world is not teaching. But we are called to live set apart from the ways of the world.
If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own; but becuase you do not belong to the world, I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you. John 15:19
Not only is humility required to advance spiritually, embracing humility has transformed my temporal world, giving me a joy and a freedom that has eluded me for most of my life. To find peace in a world that only offers chaos, we must embrace the teachings of Christ and His Church. Humbling ourselves in counter-intuitive, but remember, "Whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it," Matthew 16:25
I have failed more in the past four years than in the previous thirty, and I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to reset. Praises to my God for loving me enough not to leave me in my vanities but to allow me to suffer humiliations until I realized His loving invitation.
I invite you to say the Litany of Humility every day and join me in learning how to fully take on the yoke that is easy. I have much to learn, but I will keep picking up my cross daily because I truly believe that His burden is light.
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